Sunday, September 27, 2009
Her
I walked into the room and she was crying. I didn't ask questions, not a word, just sat on her lap like I used to when I was a kid, and rocked her back and forth in the chair. I didn't need to say anything, because she knew I was 100% there for her in that moment, stroking her hair. I held her hand while she told me her fears. And slowly, as her tears began to dry, and the corners of her lips curled upwards into a smile, I was overcome with a great elation. We laughed and told stories. We talked about philosophy and the symphony. I knew that all she needed was for me to just be there, and be me.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Letter to my Sister
Dear Kaia,
A few weeks ago in LINK crew, they started talking about a concept called servanthood. At first I was skeptical, my mind immediately jumping to servitude. It doesn't exactly help that we are studying the American Revolution and indentured servitude in AP US. But then, we started to talk more and more, and pretty soon, I was really invested in the idea.
It reminds me of last spring, you were off at college, but I know we talked. March was so hard, such a huge loss for all of us, and the only thing that got me through was my friends. I remember coming home every single day with tears in my eyes, and then sobbing to dad about how life was so unfair. I never realized how incredible dad was until now. He never tried to interrupt, or tell me his stories of loss. He would nod and hug me, and that was all I needed. When I'd walk down the hallways at school, fighting back the tears, I knew everyone was feeling the same thing. I've never felt so connected to my school. And then, that week when I was just starting to accept that he was gone, another was taken. And it was my turn. My turn to give hugs and not to receive. My turn to listen and not to cry. My turn to be a good friend, like so many had been to me. And as crazy as it sounds, I found acceptance there. The more hugs I gave, the more loved I felt. Did you know that? It's wonderful how that can happen. I can still feel the relief rushing through my body.
We know each other more than we would ever think. Not just you and I, but everyone. I've learned how precious kindness is, because you never know what someone is going through. It's like when we would drive around and someone would cut you off, and we would yell at him for being stupid. Maybe his grandma had just died, or his girlfriend broke up with him. You just never know.
I texted a couple of my freshmen last night and realized that they really just want someone to listen to them. Bree was stressed because her boyfriend is sick and she wants him to be okay. It's never a petty thing, because it really matters to her. You know how I get really grumpy when I lose my voice because I love to sing, and you never judge me, even though it seems like a silly reason to you. I want to be there for her. I think it's almost selfish how much I love talking to them, simply because asking them about their lives makes me feel better about my own. Corny as it sounds, I love helping people with their problems. I can't decide whether it's because I love how it feels when someone is there for me, or if it is because I love making a difference. I guess it's a combination between the two.
When you think about it, the base of life is relationships. If you aren't carefully cultivating them, what are you doing?
I love you and I miss you! Please don't freeze in Minnesota. :]
Love,
Annika
PS- I always give you quotes so here you go:
Try not to become a man of success but rather try to become a man of value.
- Albert Einstein
A few weeks ago in LINK crew, they started talking about a concept called servanthood. At first I was skeptical, my mind immediately jumping to servitude. It doesn't exactly help that we are studying the American Revolution and indentured servitude in AP US. But then, we started to talk more and more, and pretty soon, I was really invested in the idea.
It reminds me of last spring, you were off at college, but I know we talked. March was so hard, such a huge loss for all of us, and the only thing that got me through was my friends. I remember coming home every single day with tears in my eyes, and then sobbing to dad about how life was so unfair. I never realized how incredible dad was until now. He never tried to interrupt, or tell me his stories of loss. He would nod and hug me, and that was all I needed. When I'd walk down the hallways at school, fighting back the tears, I knew everyone was feeling the same thing. I've never felt so connected to my school. And then, that week when I was just starting to accept that he was gone, another was taken. And it was my turn. My turn to give hugs and not to receive. My turn to listen and not to cry. My turn to be a good friend, like so many had been to me. And as crazy as it sounds, I found acceptance there. The more hugs I gave, the more loved I felt. Did you know that? It's wonderful how that can happen. I can still feel the relief rushing through my body.
We know each other more than we would ever think. Not just you and I, but everyone. I've learned how precious kindness is, because you never know what someone is going through. It's like when we would drive around and someone would cut you off, and we would yell at him for being stupid. Maybe his grandma had just died, or his girlfriend broke up with him. You just never know.
I texted a couple of my freshmen last night and realized that they really just want someone to listen to them. Bree was stressed because her boyfriend is sick and she wants him to be okay. It's never a petty thing, because it really matters to her. You know how I get really grumpy when I lose my voice because I love to sing, and you never judge me, even though it seems like a silly reason to you. I want to be there for her. I think it's almost selfish how much I love talking to them, simply because asking them about their lives makes me feel better about my own. Corny as it sounds, I love helping people with their problems. I can't decide whether it's because I love how it feels when someone is there for me, or if it is because I love making a difference. I guess it's a combination between the two.
When you think about it, the base of life is relationships. If you aren't carefully cultivating them, what are you doing?
I love you and I miss you! Please don't freeze in Minnesota. :]
Love,
Annika
PS- I always give you quotes so here you go:
Try not to become a man of success but rather try to become a man of value.
- Albert Einstein
Servanthood
Some people shy away from the idea of service, because it means a complete and total surrender. Servanthood is the concept of putting others before oneself in order to better an audience greater than oneself.
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